"To know me is to love me, to taste my lips is to fall in love." wendyinchicago AT gmail

Today July 2, 2009, we have lost our Mother to Alzheimer's, she passed on early this morning.  She has been leaving us little by little as the disease had progressed over the last few years, yesterday and this morning went easy for her...that was all I could hope.

Last night when I left her, I looked to the sky and talked to my Dad asking him to come and get her.  I guess he heard me, and I have the comfort in knowing that they are once again together, this time forever.

Today I paid a short visit to my Mom, when my Sister was there with her Granddaughters.  I was originally going to meet them there so my Sis could spend some time with Mom, and I would keep track of the girls for her. 

When I got there they were outside without Mom. My Sister said Mom was asleep in bed when they got there, and all they did was put the flowers they brought to her in a vase.  Initially they tried to stir her awake, but she wanted to slumber.  I went upstairs to her room bringing up the items I had brought, she didn't move, sleeping soundly.

She looks fine, but all she's doing lately is sleeping...believe me, her being in bed sleeping is better than finding her slumped in her wheelchair asleep.  We've found her like that a couple of times after lunch, so now they will put her in her bed, knowing she wants to sleep.

Tuesday when I visited her (only my second visit in the last 7 weeks, due to the non-ambulatory ability after my surgery), she knew me for a short time and was chatty.  Not in any coherent way, but she was communicating...as hard as that is, I prefer that to the sleeping Mom.

The sleeping Mom only reminds me that time is ticking away, and she may not be with us much longer.  Next month she will be turning 85 years old, she will have surpassed the age that her parents and siblings had reached, and of course my Dad.

I try to stay positive and live with her in her moments...truly that is what Alzheimer's patients do, albeit their current moments may be in the past, but you find that place with them and hang on.  It nags at me that time with her is less and less, pulling me into a sadness that is had to shake off sometimes. 

I do my best, it's all I have.

I've been concerned that my three adult chipmunks and two babies had not been around in the last week.  This morning when I opened up the front doors there one was sitting pretty waiting for food.  Perhaps they were hunkered down in one of the rooms of their dens waiting for all the rain to stop.

Happy Monday.